Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Incredible Hidden Message In The Airtel Advertisement

The Incredible Hidden Message In The Airtel Advertisement

The one that’s got all the usual suspects- rabid feminist types foaming at the mouth and mouthing…errr….obscenities at the ad company for showing the wife actually “Cooking” at the house…how dare she? Shouldn’t she be sitting on the couch with her feet up on a stool, chugging a chilled beer and ogling hot men on fashion TV? Like all men do at home? I mean someone has to tell all these emotionally hair-trigger women that the ad is though superficially about a telecom provider in reality it is about an entirely different issue….Ten marks to you if you know what I am talking about here- in which case you don’t have to read further on.

In case you didn’t get the subliminal message inserted to warn all unsuspecting male viewers let me borrow from Rhonda Bryn’s and tell you about “The Secret”. 

The ad is a warning to all males everywhere not to get into any affair at the office however hot your boss is and whatever seduction techniques she uses on you –like giving you extra work at late nights, making sure you stay alone at the office to finish the pending work even after all the others go home and all those well documented techniques of female seduction of unsuspecting innocent males. 

If you do the unpardonable error of letting your primal instincts get loose and let your dick do the thinking instead of your brain, my friend you are finished. Even your house is not your own house from the day you give into the temptations of the flesh. What do you want to bet that your boss will get a key to your house, go there before you (in your absence) change into something comfy, cook whatever she wants and even invite you to come and feast? The odds are gentlemen its gonna happen and its gonna happen soon- IF- you sleep with your boss. So resist the temptation, avoid your female bosses. And even if you do- change the locks immediately and don’t let her in however damn fine a cook she is. 

And finally a big thanks to the Airtel Ad makers- for taking care of the guys’ side for once. Stay Safe Guys.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Last Minute Decisions and Iffy Results

Last Minute Decisions and Iffy Results

So this morning I made an error. I call it an error, say of judgment, rather than a mistake, because split semantics aside, it came off a gamble I took which didn’t pay off as it should have because of unexpected circumstances beyond my anticipation.  There was this case we had posted for surgery a week (10days?) ago and back then we had reviewed the case and had decided to go for a full thickness (epithelium+ connective tissue+ periosteum) flap. But today when the patient turned up for surgery and was prepped, anaesthetized and ready to be operated on, I took a long, long look at the operating site and my surgical judgment (my intuition?) telling me that with a split thickness flap (a half-way flap) will give better results and also help in preserving the donor site from where I was going to harvest the graft and then stitch it to the new (deficient site), I made the split-second decision to go for the tougher to do split thickness flap instead of the agreed on protocol and proceeded to raise a beautiful split flap. And then came the anti-climax. 

The theatre staff handed me 3-0 sutures which is what they had ready for a full flap while I prefer to use a 5-0 suture (thinner one) to stitch a thinner split flap. Although the theatre IS  supposed to have all sizes of sutures at all times (for all surgeries) somehow they did not have what I wanted right then and I had to make do with the had – a 3-0 size only which dint really fit the thin flap I had taken. So I wasn’t really satisfied with the end result of my surgery and will eagerly wait for next week when the sutures come off to see the result – fingers crossed. 

The thing is I am still in a dilemma about whether I should have stuck to my original surgical plan frozen a week ago or should I have made the call to change the design at the moment of surgery. Do good intentions excuse an error of judgment? What if the gamble had paid off, as it would have if the nurses had properly stocked the operating theatre? There are so many “IF’s” but no clear cut answers. The only thing of certainty is I took a risk and it didn’t come off as it should have – maybe a 70% success rate only- which may be good enough for the patient but still is kinda hurting to my ego. So was I justified in giving precedence to my surgical skill over the team decisions by invoking my privilege as the operating surgeon? The jury’s out till the sutures come of…and till then feel free to pop in with your views on what I should or should not have done.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

No Shame In Saying I Don’t Know, Is There?

No Shame In Saying I Don’t Know, Is There?

So they called me today all of a sudden in the middle of my canteen break (for those of my readers from countries which were never under the shadow of the British Empire – a canteen break is a midmorning visit to the in-house cafeteria – say around 11am- for a coffee/tea) with an emergency call and unlooked for appearance of a postgraduate student standing beside my cafeteria table, staring morosely down at my tea before saying “they want you back at the department sir, something not right with the laser”.

So I leave my half drunk tea on the canteen table with a look of longing and hurry back to the surgery room screaming “What? What? What? What happened?” to find the two guilty persons who tried to use the laser unit in my absence (temporary/tea break) adopting an unconcerned “we are not responsible” look. Seems they had tried to do a case (a surgery) all by themselves and the laser had malfunctioned and they tried to lay the blame solely on me saying that “you were the last person to use it” to which I replied irritably “yeah and I left it in good working condition just a few minutes ago”. For I knew they were trying to pin the blame of the malfunctioning unit on me and try to appropriate my next month’s salary towards repairs for the at-fault laser unit- on the principle that the last person gets blamed and foots the bill. 

So I went up to the unit and checked it and found it was working fine. Surprised I asked them to demo to me what they were doing with the laser. So they sat there the two of them and applied the laser to the anesthetized patient and waited for it to start cutting and then after a few minutes they turned towards me and said “See, its not cutting”. Whereupon I asked one of them to vacate the seat and sat down took the laser in my hand put it near the surgical site, operated the foot switch, cut the tissue and showed them “see, it works now, by magic”. The poor fools had not realized that the laser operated with a foot switch which they had comfortably left all alone between the two of them and neither of them operating it and they had thought that you just need to point a laser at something for it to start working. And of course they had thought they could do it in my absence in the mistaken belief that what he does we can do too- without learning at least the basic functions of the machine. 

Which shows once again that people would pretend anything except to accept their ignorance of something. I hope they all realize soon that it’s never too late or too much to ask for help and its definitely no shame to say those three magic words “I don’t know”.